As I write this, I am crippled in fear.
I had some ideas as to what I wanted to write about, but I feel like I should write about Fear instead. Also, I forgot what all those other ideas were.
This is how fear works, in me anyways. I have a lot of ideas, but each one of them is stupid. Nobody wants to read about that, or I am not an expert on this. You guys honor me by reading, and I want to provide you with greatness. But I am not great.
I think honesty is important. I think I can keep pretending that this is easy, but if I were being honest, I would tell you that this is very hard. It is hard laying myself out on this blog and waiting for a response. It’s not easy because I pretend that it’s easy. I’m not fearless because I pretend that I don’t have fear. I want to be honest with you about my fears.
I’m scared that I will give up on this too early.
I’m scared that I’ll believe that I’m not a real writer.
I’m scared that I will be successful at something that doesn’t matter.
I’m scared that I’m not awesome at this right now.
This is an experiment for me. I am writing this blog to see where it goes. Chances are, nobody will approach me and ask me to write a book. But if this post, or any future posts, changes lives, that means that I have been successful.
So here I am, writing this unplanned post. I have not been able to perfect this in my head all week, and maybe that’s why God cleaned out all of my other ideas and laid this heavy on my heart. I want to change the world, and as much planning as that may take, we may have the opportunity to take the unplanned route and see if more lives can be changed by going down that road. 90% perfect and acted upon is better than 100% perfect and sitting on the couch.
My voices of fear, and yours, are foes, not friends. They aren’t keeping you safe, they are keeping you from changing the world.
May God remind us of the dreams He has planted in our hearts, and give us courage to fight for those dreams.
Thank you, Autumn, for your encouragement. And thank you for reading my thoughts.