This is a continuation of my weekly Nope! List. Things that are featured here are things that will make you say “NOPE!” when you see/read/hear them. It may be stories, pictures, videos, basically whatever I find in my forays around the interwebs. Let me know in the comments or email (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you know of something that should be featured!
I’m sure that everyone has heard about the recent attacks from zombies (people supposedly on bath salts) on other people, and if you haven’t, here’s the story that started it all. There have been quite a few other attacks like this one (although none quite as gruesome) and it really scares me to know what drugs (or unknown viruses that are being hidden by the government) can do to people.
Well, last weekend, I experienced my own zombie attack. And I am really disappointed in the way I handled the whole situation. I sometimes work valet on the weekends. It’s a cool gig, nothing too special, but when I work the crazy clubs is when I get to do some serious people watching. I have been working this particular club for about a month, and nothing too crazy happened.
This past Saturday, however, I pulled up a BMW, and the door was stuck so it took me a second to get out. Meanwhile, the lady of the party gets in the passenger side and GRABS MY ARM AND BITES IT ON THE FLESH!!!!!! Like real hard, too. A human individual bit my arm.
(This is why I’m disappointed in my reaction.) I politely asked her not to do that after I threw her off of me into her passenger window. I got out of the car, collected my tip, and ran off to get the next car. I look at my arm, and there was definitely a mark, but it did not break the skin. I didn’t take any pictures immediately, unfortunately, but here is what it looks like as of a couple of days ago:
I have studied my plan for the apocalypse. I know, in my head, what to do if I get attacked by a zombie. So, some of my friends have asked me, “why did you let her go?”, “why didn’t you call the cops?”, and things of this nature. And to be honest, the answer is that I wasn’t prepared. I never thought that when I got into valet, I would have to have a plan of action in case somebody bit me. Now, I know what I will do, and will not be taken aback next time this happens.
So, what’s your plan of defense against the zombie apocalypse? What’s the weirdest thing that has happened to you at work?