NOPE List: Water Edition

I had hoped to be spending the past couple of days celebrating the championship of my San Antonio Spurs, but alas, that will have to wait. Hopefully, tomorrow, I will be writing about my excitement. But for today, I must speak of some of the dangers of the world.

Autumn and I have a healthy respect for the world’s waters. One must look out for riptide, drowning, currents, basically water just being dangerous. Once, many years ago, some friends were hanging out at a lake in Austin, TX when a guy jumped in the water and shattered his whole leg on some hidden concrete and rebar form a destroyed bridge. What many people aren’t aware of, though, are dangerous animals in the water.


We all know about sharks, crocodiles, jellyfish, and things like that. There’s nobody who doesn’t have a healthy fear of these things. I love watching Shark Week because it’s awesome, Autumn loves watching because she wants to learn what kind of behaviors keep sharks away.


I want to share information on why I hate getting in lakes and rivers. Most of this information comes from the show “River Monsters” with Jeremy Wade on Animal Planet. That show is a must watch. Jeremy goes around the world and hears stories of people getting attacked and killed by water monsters, and then he goes fishing for these monsters. What a job. Anyways, here are some of my favorites. Again, all fish are freshwater:




1.) African Tiger Fish— This is a Goliath Tiger Fish. They also come in a more compact, fun size, but the teeth are the same. If you think Africa is only scary for the first 100 things that come to your mind, well, now you have 101.

So Pretty/Deadly

So Pretty/Deadly


2.) Arapaima– I actually had the honor of seeing this fish at the Dallas World Aquarium before they appeared on the show. These fish are known to jump out of the water and slap people with their tails, breaking ribs, cracking skulls, taking names. These can be found in the Amazon.

Jaba the Catfish

Jaba the Catfish

3.) Wels Catfish– This isn’t your daddy’s catfish. Unless your dad had a catfish like this. This fish has been found with half a human inside of him, as well as human skulls.


That Dummy’s in the water with the fish.

4.) Snakehead- There are a couple of different snakeheads featured in the show. The one pictured is a Giant Snakehead, and the other is the Bullseye Snakehead. I don’t care what it’s called, that fish is scary. It’s not huge, but the teeth are crazy sharp. Also, they can survive on land for up to four days, and walk around terrorizing pets and children. They were recently introduced in Florida, aren’t you happy?

Sea Crepe

Sea Crepe

5.) Giant Stingray- This was my favorite episode of the series. Jeremy tore his bicep and snapped a shark rod trying to catch this thing. It weighed well over 400 pounds and was over 5 feet from wing tip to wing tip, and over 10 feet from head to tail. I can’t believe this thing exists.


I left out the boring things, like electric eels, everything in the Amazon River, other huge catfish, and the like. All pictures courtesy of Google and Animal Planet, probably.


What’s your scariest fish? What’s your favorite nature show? 


3 responses to “NOPE List: Water Edition

  1. I love River Monsters. What really blows my mind is that people know that these fish monsters exist, but are still willing to go catfish “noodling.” There is no way I would stick my hand under river banks after seeing these pictures.

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